to ask a chinaman

since i had acquired so many books, clothing and other shenanigans during my stay in the city of angels, i figured it wouldn't all fit in the suitcase i brought to los angeles. given this problem being a problem of supply and demand, i had to figure if i was in a buyers' market or a sellers' market.

demand - space to store my stuff
supply - one measly suitcase

well, what other people know more about supplying demanding citizens that the noble chinese? where else to find a cheap, spacious suitcase that would at least be sturdy enough to rock it out all the way back to amsterdam, than in chinatown, north of the 101, just around broadway. not much later, we were standing in front of a nice collection of suitcases, all very eloquently prized.

the vendor, however, was not of the same eloquence. meaning: he spoke fuck-o english. it was a very short talk with him answering all our questions with "yes, very pretty bag, cheap!" before i made the purchase.

if this guy answers all questions in exactly the same way, why did the conversation not go a bit more like this?

we: "so, would you recommend this suitcase for transporting a chopped-up body, or do we need a smaller, second suitcase for the head?"

him: "yes, very pretty bag, cheap!"

we: "but i think you want to remove the family members that are still stuck in that corner first, right?"

him: "yes, very pretty bag, cheap!"

we: "is it fireproof?"

him: "yes, very pretty bag, cheap!"

we: "..."

anyway, you can probably guess that this whole scheme very quickly slid down the slippery slopes of stereotyping and more of the stuff you don't want people to know about when you're running for congress.

if this sounds interesting to you, my dear readers, i would recommend going to the pearl market (hong qiao) in beijing. just see this image and imagine...



5 stories full of cheap knock offs.

oh, and the suitcase i bought cost me 18 bucks.